Just A Spell
by DatAssRomano
Summary: Hetalia/Nyotalia crossover. Engmano. Somehow Arthur had managed to bring over both his and Lovino's female counterparts...and it was chaos. ((Foursome Engmano, Engmano, Nyo!Engmano))
1. Chapter 1

**# Just A Spell (Engmano-ArthurxAlicexLovinoxChiara) #**

**I don't know. Don't question me. They're OOC and I'm tired.**

**It should be quite short with the chapters (three or four, maybe an omake), but this is my work for the Easter break and it may ****will**** contain a foursome. ;) Double Engmano! Bad language and all kinds of smut, dear readers! And for a crack pairing, too! Naughty~**

**With fem!Romano's name, I use Lovina sometimes, but I wanted it as her different Nyotalia name, so Chiara it is!**

### ####

"The fuck is this shit, Arthur?!"

Amused green eyes studied him as Arthur Kirkland fixed the moderately-sized stack of papers with a decisive shuffle and folded his hands over it. He had been doing work for his country in his study, but this was _far_ more interesting than any work could be. Never in his life had he ever managed to get a spell so wrong, and yet so right at the same time. He glanced away for a second to look at the time. Hm. He had time to resolve this, or at least fix it a little, before afternoon tea. This would work well enough.

"Hey, bastardo, are you listening?!"

"Of course I am, Lovino."

"Then would you like to explain _why the fuck our girl versions are standing behind me?!_"

"Speak for yourself, git. I stand wherever I want," Alice said in a bland tone, moving Lovino aside, although not roughly, to walk over to a large bookshelf. She stood for a few moments, studying the books behind the frames of her glasses. Arthur's eyes were drawn to his female counterpart for a time as she tucked a strand of gold hair behind her ear neatly and pulled out a novel, flipping it open to scan it lightly as she sat on an armchair comfortably, looking very at home.

Then his gaze turned back to Lovino. He could see the Italian's female counterpart almost hiding behind him, and realised mildly that this was the first time it had happened to the girl. Alice was accustomed to this situation, seen as both Brits managed to make mistakes on their magic on a regular basis. He didn't even know what the girl's name was, come to think of it. Had she met her own male form previously? It was probable, seen as she seemed to think he was the safest place in the study.

"A spell," he said finally, to his own Italian.

Lovino glared at him, quite obviously unhappy with this turn of events, and Arthur took a moment to enjoy the pout on the other's face. He had his share of bad moods, sure, but Lovino's were quite cute and he had quite the good time wiping that pout off of the Italian's face. He mulled this over for a few minutes, stuck in his own mindset so much that he didn't notice the brunette he was daydreaming about stalk forward to smack him on the head.

"Ouch! What the bloody hell was that for?!"

"Bastard! Fix it now!"

"I can't."

"You...can't?"

"Well...no. Not right now. I need time."

"How long?"

"Three weeks at the least."

"But...but..."

"Even with my help, Arthur?"

He glanced at Alice, who had looked up from her book calmly. "With your help, it might be shortened to two. Maybe one if we're lucky."

The British girl nodded, seemingly satisfied with this, and went back to the book she was reading. Alice Kirkland was used to this type of thing, so she was the least of Arthur's worries right now. Not that anyone who was him would be annoying anyway. His biggest problem right now, he thought with faint dread, was his lover, Lovino Vargas, and perhaps his own female counterpart. He stifled a groan. As if one of them wasn't enough already. Sure, he loved the Italian to bits, but he could only deal with so many insults for so long.

Speaking of...

He glanced back up at Lovino, who had lost interest in yelling at him for now in favour of going back to where the other version of Southern Italy stood. And finally got a look at the girl. Sure, he'd considered talking to her before, but Alice had warned that they were the same in both dimensions and highly sceptical of magic and the like. Or more they just hated the uncertainty that came with it. Arthur broke off from his thoughts immediately as he caught the first glance of the girl, and had to struggle not to let his jaw drop to the floor.

The girl was _stunning_. Soft brown hair, curled at the ends, rested gently on her shoulders as she looked up at Lovino, her expression drawn but showing a small amount of distress. Her uniform was in a shade of olive-green, and it was...quite short and showed off her sizeable assets. Arthur wondered faintly if she could bend over in that outfit, and then reprimanded himself. Now was not the time to be perverse, he was a gentleman. Wide eyes, that same shade of green that was gold and brown at all the same time, were fixed on Lovino as she muttered something to him in Italian. The girl balanced on rather delicate-looking red heels, which apparently matched the headband of the same colour.

He watched as Lovino kissed her forehead lightly in a comforting gesture and both of them went bright red and looked away, and resisted the urge to laugh. Instead he turned his attention to the more menial things at hand that had turned up because of this...situation. First he would take care of his feminine companion, not that she particularly needed to be shown around or anything, seen as she was used to English mansions and the like.

"Alice, do you wish to stay in a guest room?"

"...yes. I will attend to that shortly. Thank you for having me in your house."

"You're welcome. What's mine is yours, after all."

"Bastard, hey...uh..."

"Yes, Lovino?"

"What about Chiara?"

Chiara, eh? It was unusual...but quite beautiful. It suited her well. Just as Lovino suited the male half of the equation. Both were rare but somehow it just fitted into their character more than it would with your average person. Arthur wasn't sure whether it was to do with their countries or not, as to what the attraction was. It was simply them, he decided after a moment.

"She may stay wherever she likes. I assume she'd rather stay with you, but seen as you're staying with me a lot lately, she may as well stay in a guest room as well."

Both Lovino and Arthur avoided the well-known fact that usually during the night the Italian man would end up in the Brit's bed, whether to simply sleep or for _other_ activities. That road of conversation could come later, after they'd settled a little more. Arthur was still unsure as to whether their female counterparts were as...involved as Lovino and himself were. Otherwise it night raise some uncomfortable questions.

Chiara turned uncertain eyes on Arthur and looked him over for a minute, apparently deciding what to say to the man. She looked rather unsure of herself, which was understandable seen as she had been dragged into another dimension against her will, after all. The Brit himself waited patiently, expecting some kind of thank you or show of appreciation as the girl seemed to inwardly steel herself. Lovino glanced away, his eyes sliding to where Alice was sitting.

"This..." She began, and Arthur was immediately entranced by her accent.

"This is all your fault, man-tea bastard!"


	2. Chapter 2

**# Just A Spell P2 #**

**I'm thinking this will be a double/triple (maybe I'll finish it in one go) update, because I just have nothing better to do than write...and write...and write...**

**Oh! If you want to chat, message me on Google Hangouts! I'm seriously bored, and my profile's on the link in my account!**

### ####

"So what do we do now, bastard?"

Lovino yawned and leaned back on the bed, closing his eyes as he thought of a reply to Chiara's question. They'd gone to the Italian's room to leave the British pair some time to fix this shit. He was rather tired of this whole situation, and found himself wondering if he could just go home and leave it up to Arthur. Maybe make a nice big helping of pasta- his tomato plants should have grown quite nicely by now. He was half-tempted to simply kidnap the girl, but then technically he would be kidnapping _himself_ and that sort of bullshit was just far too confusing.

One eye half-opened and turned its' attention to Chiara, who was sitting on an office chair opposite him, her arms folded. She looked upset, but then again, who wouldn't in this situation? She'd been pulled from whatever she was doing to get stuck in an alternate dimension, and even if it wasn't the 2p! Reality it was probably still pretty shitty. His attention slid from her face down to her chest, and he felt the tiniest smirk cross his face. Damn, he made a pretty hot chick.

"Stop staring at my boobs."

"...technically they're my boobs too."

Chiara rolled her eyes. "No, they're not."

"Bitch."

"Bastard."

"Slut."

"Dickwad."

"You realise we're insulting ourselves as well as each other...right...?"

The two Italians glared at each other, and then smirked a little. "Truce?"

"Si, why not."

### ####

"Here's your tea, Alice."

"Thank you, Arthur."

He placed the two teacups on the smooth surface of the coffee table in front of the woman and took a moment to study the girl. Where had that maid outfit come from? Not that he had any problem with it, it was just...odd. Alice finally closed the book, and Arthur noted that the book was a study of mythology that he had bought but had never had the time to read. Had Alice been in the same situation? He sat down in the armchair across from her, letting out a sigh as he rested back in the soft fabric. Such comfy armchairs should be a crime.

Alice raised the porcelain cup to her lips and took a sip, acid green eyes closing for a moment as she savoured the flavour, and then nodded approvingly. Arthur felt a frown cross his face as he realised there was no way he could have gotten the tea wrong, if they were the same person. Why was he even being doubted? It was preposterous, to use a nice word, but he supposed suspicion was a trait that could save your life.

"So..." He began.

"So," came the bemused reply.

### ####

"So are you and Eyebrowgeddon fucking?"

"...uh...si."

"Knew it. For how long?"

"...a while."

"Knew it. Are you two...?"

She broke off, her expression changing to something unreadable but still quite amused. Lovino waited, expecting another intrusive question about his relationship. Of course he would want to talk about this, of course _she_ would want to talk about this.

"Are we what?"

"Are you two...official?"

"Alfred- America, found out a few weeks ago, so...si, everyone knows about it. Although the frog bastard already knew before that because I threatened to chop his dick off and sell it to the mafia."

"Really."

The matter-of-fact tone of voice used by Chiara had Lovino bristling slightly. He sent her a small glare, which was ignored with a faintly amused curl of the woman's lips. How were they going to put up with each other for a whole fucking week if she was going to be like this?! Speaking of, why was she asking these questions when she was him in another dimension? Wasn't it the same over there?

"How about you, then?"

"Sometimes. It's an...on-and-off thing. Hard to tell."

"What?"

"Our relationship's different from yours, bastard."

"How?"

Chiara sighed, her face going slightly red as she picked at her fingernails. Lovino could almost see the dark cloud of embarrassment and irritation over her head, and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. This was interesting. It was like he could watch the sitcom of his life that wasn't his life...or something like that. Except...it almost sounded like there were differences. Maybe he'd been wrong about the theory that everything was the same over there as it was here, give or take the anatomical differences.

"...it's not like that over there."

"...what?"

"Alice is sleeping with Francois as well! It's an...open relationship. Get it now, bastard?"

"You mean...she sleeps around? What do you do?"

"Nothing! I thought about sleeping with Isabella to see how _she_ liked it, but I didn't want to do that!"

Lovino had no idea who the distressed Italian was talking about now, but he could guess quite easily and he felt his face mirror the disgust in his mind at the situation his female counterpart was in. Isabella sounded like a Spanish name, and he knew Antonio was the first person he'd run to when he had a problem, unfortunately. It was almost ironic that he was the one who was being the relationship counsellor, but he supposed he could handle it for one day.

"So what, she just fucks you and leaves again?"

"Well, ye- Who said _she_ fucked _me_?"

"You can't lie to me, remember?"

"Does that mean you...you..."

Lovino raised his eyebrow yet again as Chiara's face went red as she imagined something that was likely very graphic and something similar to the porn he had stolen from Kiku that one time before he had a relationship. He smirked past his faint embarrassment at hers. He wondered if here imagination was as graphic as what the real thing was, and suppressed a laugh at the hilarity of the situation by rolling his eyes at her.

"Back on subject, si?"

"Er...si."

"So...you don't want her to just fuck you and leave?"

"No! I mean- I-"

"Alright. Well, it's not like you can just _tell_ her, so..."

"Hmpf."

"Maybe...we should use the method that always works for me?"

Chiara watched her male counterpart as he stood, yawned again, and stumbled over to a set of drawers. He rummaged through them for a while, muttering about how all houses had to be great fucking mansions except for his own, and she couldn't help but agree in her head. Lovino finally pulled out a large bottle of wine and waved it at her with a dark smile. She felt herself mirror the expression as she saw the expensive brand of wine.

"Let's get some glasses, then, bastard."

### ####

"I think that's all the research we can do today, to be honest," Arthur said with a resigned sigh as he put yet another book back on the shelf. Alice sighed as well as she closed the one in her hands, looking back at him. She wondered for a moment what was with her male form's eyebrows, but decided not to ask. It was better if she didn't know, she decided finally.

"Should we go and check on our Italians?"

"I suppose. Knowing them, they've probably trashed the kitchen."

Arthur snorted, and they made their way out of the basement. They stopped in the corridor, and Alice frowned, looking puzzled. Arthur groaned and began banging his head on the doorframe. As amusing as it was, Alice felt she had to intervene on the self-harming at the moment to ask him an important question.

"Do you normally have tomato sauce on your walls?"


End file.
